Seeking Princess party attendess

I made a mommy friend yesterday! That's the mother of my child's friend. We aren't necessarily friends but our children are friends. Why is this exciting to me? Because I don't call myself anti-social but some would. It's just harder for me to try and make "Mommy Friends" because I'm so young and all of the activities my daughter has joined have kids with moms who are much older and well established in their careers. Which brings me to another point.
I know I'm not the only young mom but it seems that allot of the extra curricular activities that I attend that are for my daughter have kids with moms that are much older and established. Is it that younger parents can't afford to put there children in these activities? Are we to consumed in our own personal growth to provide these great opportunities for our children? Or do we just not know any better? I don't know what the answer is and I may be wrong about my assumptions. But it sure would be great to see more of my age range in attendance.
So Journey will soon have her first play date! Hopefully because she took my number and said she'd text me hers and I have yet to hear from her. I feel like a new kid at school trying to make friends for my daughters sake. But it's fun! Journey only has her boy cousins down here which is awesome because I won't have to worry about her toughening up . But it sure would be fun to have some girl-friends to invite to her 5th Princess Party next year!

unfinished

I saw the sky blue today,
It was seen in a different way,
I opened my eyes and soaked it in,
and let my heart smile within,

This day like no other,
broke down many bricks,
that barricaded my soul,
that have paid hells toll,

Today I saw the sky blue,
and it read my soul true,
as it marinated and my heart contemplated,
On those hated days that I saw so few,

The wall hasn't been broken,
but words have been spoken...

There's more to see beyond the unknown

For a reason...

I've learned over time that every person you come into contact with is put there for a reason that contributes to Gods master plan for your life.
My cousin she's taught me the importance of taking your time, feel out the situation then make a decision. Often times we are in such a rush to make something fun new and exciting happen in our lives. For example when we come into a good amount of money the first instinct is to spend it all or take care of everyone . Instead of saving budgeting and making a plan for the money.
When you rush you over spend in your life as well as your bank account!
It's important for me to make a cushion for myself and my child to be able to live comfortably. So... The next move is investments and saving....

Dear Jersey

Dear Jersey,





I'm sitting here on Saturday night thinking about the times we spent together. You've been there from the start and for some reason I can't let you go. I mean it's not that I want to, I just need a little space, I mean .. I..




(Exhale)


.


You’re flowing through my veins,


And when it rains,


I wish it was your storms,


Your lightning and thunderous ways,


Missing those nights we drove together,


With your chilly winds flowing through my cracked windows,


Just what I needed to keep me up late at night


And you never worrying whispering “She knows,”





She knows that I live in her and flow through her,


She knows..





Loud music living by the lyrics and never denying the bass,


And no matter how crowded, I always had my space, my place,





I remember the day I fell in love with you,


It’s so funny how we’ve been through it all,


And only time forced me to fall,


And I fell Hard... For you,





Then it was us,


The laughs the tears,


The minutes the years,





I’m missing the way you kissed my spirit,


And hugged my soul,


We had so much in common,


I swore we’d grow old together,


A bond so thick tough as leather,




You felt it with me,


And saw through my eyes,


When I thought I couldn’t, but did,


You knew how many tries,


Then I left,


I left you all alone,


I left,




I know you think I’m crazy for saying this,


For Speaking out,





I left, Right?


This time you speak outside of a whisper,


“You left Me”





I hear your pain,


And sometimes it pulls me in,


Almost moving back to what we had,


..Jersey.. girl for life, I mean your girl for Life right?





Where do ..Jersey.. and I really stand?


Do you want me back or is it the idea,


Because year after year,


We go through this,


Never fails,


My heart yearns for your touch,


Embracing my thoughts,


Jersey’s impeccable style,


On my face it kept a smile,




No matter where I move,


No one, I mean no place compares,


Not even close,


Your holding me back ..Jersey..!


You’ve set the bar, reset the standards.





(Inhale)





My fantasy was always a reality,


Then I left…





I left…

Influenced by an unknown Author of the "I believe Poem"

I believe that sometimes it takes you to be kind first, for someone to find their kindness within
I believe when you love someone you'll fight for it
I believe true friends are hard to come by but when you have one they're there forever
I believe if your raised in the church under good teaching that, that foundation will never crack
I believe forgiveness is not only a gift to the person you are forgiving but an even larger gift to you
I believe that love is a choice
I believe our hearts are the strongest muscle in our bodies , so when it takes a hard beating or even a rough ache
I believe you'll be ok
I believe life is what you make it
I believe that surrounding yourself with positive people will indeed reap a positive experience
I believe every change starts with a
Change of mind
I believe children are Gods gift and your future so Invest in your tomorrow
I believe the strongest bond you can have is a mothers love
I believe family is the best relationship you can have in life
I believe that when I get older I will also get wiser
I believe that our elders are insight on our past and future
I believe that loving yourself is a must !
I Know I am great and I am destined for greatness

I posted Some oldy poems because they still apply to my present.. Hope you enjoy and please feel free to comment.!

Writers block

I dug deep this time, for more then existance,
beyond this greater being , above more then seeing,
I wanted to know the truth to this non aparent wall , I felt my self pushing and on the other side an echoed call,
but still no help came , and things remained the same ,
Thats when i realized the next morning that really Ive been sheilding myselffrom my own thoughts, my own wonders,
while in the back of my mind still ponders ,
about words that could have been said , dreams that should have been read, my words still never alive nor dead...
there was a crack, and finally when I peeked through
it was my own back

Luiy was my inspiration for this one...Thnx Lui

I am

I'm the type of girl who loves left over spaghetti , and to eat the ice pops b4 their frozen. Who sometimes rubs a drop of juice into the floor instead of shampooing the whole carpet.
I'm the type of girl who will screw off the top of a pump lotion bottle to use the last drop or cut open the tooth paste tube to get my money worth. Who loves movies on a Friday night and will mix my corn with my rice or mashed potatoes.
I'm the type of girl who hates flowers because they die but loves a thoughtful call or a selfless act.
I'm the type of girl who would rather go out with no makeup and a clean face will do me just fine.
I'm the type of girl who won't talk with my mouth full but behind closed doors will eat food with my fingers.
I love the rainbow after the storm and will snap a picture of the perfect cloud.
I'm the type of girl in a class of my own and could never be compared to another. I'm the type of girl who doesn't need male validation and knows I can do bad by myself ..
Who knows my worth and it has no dollar value!
Won't listen to the BS and won't settle for less.
I'm the type of girl who loves myself..

By Shirl

I'm akward

I walk to my own beat,
Down my own street,
and trip on my own feet ,


When I laugh I may snort,
My room is my fort,
I wear colors of any sort,

Nothing Personal

Today I communicated me, purely me. I expressed myself beyond what was expected and I felt great. It was great.
Communication with no consequences for me can only happen when a person truly knows me. No judging , no questions , no nothing! Lets just talk, with you consciously making an effort to exit your realm and enter mine!
I don't apologize for my actions nor do I feel bad, because that would truly be me denying self..

She Rocks

Melodic drama keeping us moving,
We're flowing, we're grooving,
With eyes shut wide open,
I'm feeling it
I'm , I'm
As the Jazz plays on
From the trumpets snout , I was born,
Play on bad boy,
Ooh she rocks

Eyes wide shut,
Last call final cut,
The snares of my life linger,
With the solo eclectic singer,
She sings , she sings,
Ladies Got the blues,
And a pair of Bad’ Shoes,

Walk on mama , walk on
Ooh she rocks

Will it Change

I've got to read this book again.
I want to see if the feeling and interpretation I had when I was 15 will be the same at 23 years old. I've got to get back into my books, they took me to a different world, a world away from my own. If it be living it through someone's eyes or through mine own. Point being. I was able to escape. I would stay up til 5 a.m not wanting to put down the book and face reality.
I think that was a common theme through out my earlier days. Escaping reality..
I was able to live Winters Life without the consequences. Which then turned into a handbook a guideline for my life. I wanted what she had. The beauty that attracted more then the regular , the money to do what I wanted , the clothes that set me apart, the dad who provided that sense of protection regardless of his moral judgments. I wanted that world minus the consequence.

Today I became irritated by the fact that I allowed someone to speak negative things about me but also speak those things into my life. I thought I was over it but the things they said were of a sensitive topic.
So my mission for today and tomorrow and so on.. Is to only allow positive people into my circle. People who know me and not think they know me. Not those who read my Facebook or Twitter then allow their minds to exaggerate the moment and build a judgmental opinion about me. Because for someone to know me , they will understand my words beyond the obvious. They already know the in betweens.
Today I got a letter of termination. A letter stating my child will lose her health insurance.
Today I cursed the negative words spoken into my spirit by someone who doesn't know me.
Today I sat in the ER this morning with my child instead of clocking into work. Then when it was all said and done I returned to work to make sure I'll have a job to come back to tomorrow.
Today that same child threw a fit after work. She threw a tantrum that made me think all kinds of thoughts. But instead of breaking down I drove to McDonalds , I propositioned her with a fry and got myself a small Carmel Frappe . Only to get to the window and find out They are on sale all month for $1. Now that made my day!

I'm going to laugh today,
I'm going smile at the possibilities,
Of potential sharing in the responsibilities,
That may fester up a chuckle,
And loosen up a buckle,
Or Two,
I'm going to laugh and say,
This is knotting up my stomach,
It is bringing out the best today,
My tears are rolling on their way,
To a tiny hidden hiccup,
I'm going to laugh today,
Meaning today is already yesterday,
Which means tomorrow I digested my sorrow,
And released a joyous headache,
Because I chose to laugh today,

And nothing else matters,
Funny took me over as the frown drowned ,
And the laughter splatters...

Because I was sure to laugh today!

-Loveshirl