Gotta luv it

Seriously I'm tiered and don't have much energy to use on extra stuff Remedy: Keeping my damn mouth shut and keeping it moving. If it doesn't affect my life directly then I'm over it. Hell I'm tiered. It's no blame on anyone, no one gets credit.'but silence is my new key. To hell what the rest may say..

My child

I can't imagine my world without her but at times my child drives me beyond crazy.
It's like God put these little creatures into our world to pull us back down out of the clouds. Gods little reminders of reality. A child in my eyes is the ultimate test of life. Through and with this child you will experience hurt, happiness , joy , pain, grief .. They are an endless test of patience. At times you love them and others well.. you still love but there goes that test again!

Taken

The feeling of trust broken,
The sound of silent words unspoken,
Hurt entrenched, seeped hate from my heart,
Boundaries crossed from the very start,

What I believed was wrong,
I drew blank and heard the willows song,
Another world corrected there wrong,
A silence but not for long,

Purity turned black,
Happy turned black,
Innocence turned black,
Honesty turned black,
My heart turned black,

Tear scared face,
A sour bitter taste,
Lingers and haunts my thoughts,
I can't escape,
I couldn't escape this mental rape,

I'd kill you, I want to hurt you,
I want you to feel tainted,
Soft yellow walls painted, in my mind, Whimsical!
That's where I hid my better mind,
While you tried to take me from behind,

I haven't forgiven although I say, I did,
I try every time then I remember how I was just a kid,
So I hate you I do,
ever so true,
In the mid night blue,
I kill you!

In my thoughts, I kill you
In my spirit, I kill you
In my life, I kill you
In my soul, I kill you

I'm tearing apart your very existence,
And gripping your heart with powerful persistence,
I kill you!

Missing them

I miss my friends! I miss having them around. Just having my best friend to hang out with and go places. Even though I'm not alone , I feel alone in a sense. In that area of my life it's empty. I miss the stupid humor and the go anywhere down for what ever when ever friendship. I miss the questions and secrets you swear to never tell. I miss the just because calls and the I'm sleeping on your couch because I think my hearts broken today!
I miss the let's plan a trip and do it's...
I miss the ooh girl he is fiiine's....
I miss the let's go party girl's....
I wish my friendship grew with me...
I wish we grew together...
My boys are far and it's not the same..
And my one best girlfriend is too many states away!
I miss being included because my presence is wanted and not a burden..
I miss being the life among other lifes ..
We were all the party!
I miss my cousins who were my buddy's!
Words can't really explain this feeling and it's just in the moment..
But I miss it....

A poets Diary

A Poets Diary
by Shirley Mayfield

Is a place to live and breath air,
Unlock it if you dare,
Enter a world of serenity,
Madness of true divinity,
Schizophrenic lives with neurotic dreams,
We belong in a nut house, so it may seem,
Writers block is just a bump in the road,
Visit my box my humble abode,
Label my life with the writers stamp,
We are the hope the dream, the loser's champ,
This is the translation of life,
The bible of thoughts,
The jar of my soul,
The holder of my eyes,
The catcher of my sighs,
The river of my cries,
The caresser of my thighs
Love, Romance, hate, Anger Happiness
Are some common themes of the poets diary.

I pushed myself

I pushed myself

Nursing sure does change allot

What do normal breast look like? And who determines normal?
Considered a breast lift today, until I read all of the side affects. Potential nipple loss , disfigured breast , loss of sensation and the list goes on. Sounds like I could come out worst then I went in. I play poker but I'm not that big of a gambler!
So push ups from Victorias secret will be my long term investment toward perfect boobs!