The best day ever

Today I had the best day ever..
I really need to start writing more..
It really was a great day! ;)
I've got some good friends..
Makes a difference when you need someone and they are actually there for you at those times you need that shoulder..
At times I thought some friendships were over but I've realized we all have busy lives but what counts is when they are there for you when you need them most.
Today they were there for me!

Realize

....And then it hits you....
That moment you realize
Just that moment...
It's all clear, clearer then it's ever been..
Unspoken words scream so loud..
It's what's not said that weighs down..
.....and then you realize

No name

I call this no name.
No topic nor subject.
I could scream right now.
Yell at the walls, punch kick and scratch.
Throw my very own tantrum about the bullshit life has handed me.
I could scream louder and louder beyond the walls.
But I can't.
It won't come out. It's stuck inside waiting.
Pushing it's way through, stuck at the pit of my throat.
Calling for my tears to drop down and mood to mellow.
The ultimate performance.
Chest tight
I'm ready to throw in the towel,
Call it a day.
Not another complaint
Just DONE
My energy is drained
I try so hard but my efforts seem to be non existent
I'm DONE
give,give,give
So When do I get back
When do my cards change
I'm trying, I'm doing
I'm not sitting still but I keep getting dealt the same shitty hand
Game over
This life is over

Awake

I woke up with a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Thoughts from when,
Mixed with emotions from then,
A gut wrenching , throat clenching
Reality check,
We are never who we say we are,
And when we are found out
Its too late , already in too far,
Is it possible to lead two lives and still hold onto that human emotion of caring?
When it's been your survival as in two beds your sharing.
Everyone has secrets that are sooner then later always exposed,
Skeletons in the closet leaning to the side classically posed,
Just when you think you've gotten away,
A bone falls , secrets scatter , hurt exposed for a long nights stay,
That gut wrenching feeling pushes
Pushes
Pushes me away

It's not always true when they say you get what you give. You can give allot and get back a little. You give good and bad could come back. It's all a matter of what or who your giving to and how much.