My issue isn't with people. It's with me staying true to myself. I seem to get derailed at my most vulnerable moments. I love hard which is a positive and a negative.
I'm always choosing to take care of everyone but myself, because that's what I enjoy doing. But reality is I've got to come first. I need to make sure I'm well taken care of first and foremost. Then everything else will fall into place.
It's about me these days and how I feel and the direction I want to take my life in. Can't cater to anyone else before I cater to self!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Thursday, October 6, 2011
?
This is what it is.. No blinders no nothing.. True self..
The question is? Do I see myself in it for the long run? Are these the qualities that I've written? Are these the faults that I'm willing to love? What's my limit? What's the deal breaker?
But is it true self? Am I blinded ?
To hell with it all
You take risk in life right?
You gamble on a good game.
You live it like it's your last and if it ain't you live to the next and proceed to live that as if it's your last.
Taking chances is never what it's cracked up to be.. First you get the adrenaline rush , the infatuation, the lust of love , and even true love. Then you wonder , you fear, you question..
Is this what we really want? Can we make it past the I got to know you part? Am I really ready to completely trust you %100 or am I capable of trusting %100?
If I question a move is that a deduction from my overall percentage?
These feelings I have right now can I constantly suppress them or will they eventually , forcefully explode?
The questions I have can they ever be received as a positive experience?
Damn relationships! Or what ever we call it these days..
Am I ready for it?
Do I want it?
The more we wait the more the scale tips to the other side..
Someone's always wanting more then the other.. Can that ever be fixed?
Can there ever be a true happy balance? Or does that one that wants
It more eventually fall off? Do the
Scales tip so low that the imbalance is inevitable?
The question is? Do I see myself in it for the long run? Are these the qualities that I've written? Are these the faults that I'm willing to love? What's my limit? What's the deal breaker?
But is it true self? Am I blinded ?
To hell with it all
You take risk in life right?
You gamble on a good game.
You live it like it's your last and if it ain't you live to the next and proceed to live that as if it's your last.
Taking chances is never what it's cracked up to be.. First you get the adrenaline rush , the infatuation, the lust of love , and even true love. Then you wonder , you fear, you question..
Is this what we really want? Can we make it past the I got to know you part? Am I really ready to completely trust you %100 or am I capable of trusting %100?
If I question a move is that a deduction from my overall percentage?
These feelings I have right now can I constantly suppress them or will they eventually , forcefully explode?
The questions I have can they ever be received as a positive experience?
Damn relationships! Or what ever we call it these days..
Am I ready for it?
Do I want it?
The more we wait the more the scale tips to the other side..
Someone's always wanting more then the other.. Can that ever be fixed?
Can there ever be a true happy balance? Or does that one that wants
It more eventually fall off? Do the
Scales tip so low that the imbalance is inevitable?
Not sure..
I’m so sure about allot of things, like how I want to raise my child and the fact that I need succeed in life. But I’m unsure about allot more. I think I’m just tired of not knowing. Not knowing where my life is going to end up. What’s up ahead. I have this vision of what it should’ve been but in no way am I on that path. I’m a big ball of what if’s and possibilities. Rolling down a road unknown, a bit out of control.
I have writers block in my book of life.
But I’m not complaining I’m releasing. Because in no way will this hinder the process. ‘Something will be done.
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